I first heard the term Carmageddon on Monday when I was talking to a neighbor who was shocked when I said I was going to Sierra Madre in the Pasadena area on Sunday to visit a friend. "What about Carmageddon???" she said. I was like, "Huh? Carma what?? Come again?"
I was aware the 405 was being shut down to demolish the Mulholland bridge and folks were being told to avoid the area, but I didn't know it was freaking everyone out and had been given the lovely mashed up disaster titleof "Carmageddon!" Leave it to Angeleno's to give a freeway closure an end of the world nickname! We're so Hollywood! Throw in some zombies running loose in the fast lane and we've got a blockbuster party!
All of this buzz and impending commuter doom has happened before. Anyone remember the weepy meltdown over the Olympics coming to LA? City residents feared traffic would become an outright nightmare and many talked of leaving town or staying home. Of course nothing everhappened, (probably because so many scardy cats got of out town!)
Hours after the Carmageddon warning from my neighbor, three other people were telling me not to go and what they are doing to avoid going anywhere in their car! A bit over the top? Perhaps, but we all weep over traffic and here in LA a slow moving freeway is like being strapped into a torture machine and having your body slowly stretched until your head explodes.
But like the Olympics, perhaps the jammed freeways of Carmageddon won't be as horrible as dreamed up. And perhaps the fear will force So Cal residents to take a weekend off and stay close to home!
I, on the other hand, am not staying home or calling a helicopter. I'm still going to drive right into Carmageddon and travel to Seirra Madre, unless I can't even get on the freeway on ramp. At which point I will accept my fate and go home to weep. However, if I find myself a victim of Carmageddon on the freeways, you will defintely see my weepy pics on here Monday.
In the mean time, here's a funny Carmageddon spoof using a scene from a movie with Hitler bitching in German. Apparently the douchebag fuhrer is upset about not being able to get to LAX...
Let the eyebrow and hair burnings begin! Seems like there is always one moron at the BBQ who doesn't think the briquettes are heating properly and they pour lighter fluid all over them like they're a bowl of Cherrios! Somebody get the garden hose!
Check out the BBQ lighting fail below. Idiot deserves to have his balls burned off! Keep an eye on those dumbasses lurking around the BBQ - Don't let your pool party turn into an ER scene from Grey's Anatomy. Happy Memorial Day!
The New Years Eve non-stop Cosmos, Patron Tequila shots, Purple Hooters, Boilermakers, and Dom Perignon champagne seemed like a good idea at the time but hours later the hungover gay heart weeps while bowing down to the porcelain gods vowing never to drink like that again...at least for a few days anyway.
Be wary of random hangover advice, eating Heuvos Rancheros at a greasy diner to absorb the alcohol will not make you feel better. Check out the Huf Post's 10 Hangover Cures and Cons.
Airport security is no laughing matter by any stretch, and many US citizens appreciate the effort that our government is taking to make our air transportation safer. However that being said, the premise of having every fold on your body scrutinized by a TSA technician doesn't really give piece of mind either. For those of us who look for clothes to wear well on us, so that they accentuate what we are happy to show and hide what we don’t want others to notice, this new airport body scan makes all those efforts completely pointless. So not only do we have to concern ourselves with how well we look in our clothes, now we have to consider what we must look like under the airport body scan. Now since this new technology has begun to implement in airport terminals, the TSA and other federal agenicies have insisted that body scan images are not stored once a person’s body has been scanned. Although Gizmodo has recently published 100 pictures of scanned individuals which had been obtained by a the US Marshalls Service.
Oh and by the way, TSA Director Susan Hallowell says that we ‘tend to look fatter on the airport body scan.’
Now this should truly make our lesbian and gay hearts weep…