TV Shows
SILENCING THE LAUGHTER
"Oh Amanda; dear sweet Amanda ... Don't you want to be saved?"
Benjamin Kissell
What makes a gay heart weep Dallas-sized tears of misery, anger and vexation? [Remember: everything's bigger in Texas ... including tantrums.] Why, it's finding out that one of your fast-favorite shows is cancelled. Case-in-point: GCB
GCB (which stands for Good Christian B [rhymes with witches]) is one wrong-but-oh-so-right laugh after another each episode.
From Kristin Chenoweth's skyscraper Louboutins and impressive cleavage [remember, cleavage helps your cross hang straight, y'all] to Annie Potts' one-liners ["God often speaks to me through Christian Dior - I believe He'd like me to have a new fur coat"] the show delivers big hair, big ... accessories and big laughs.
What more could a gay heart ask for?
In an era of hyped-up controversy [I'm looking at you, Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh] where religion seems to be at war with a sense of humor and sex [let alone sexuality] GCB and its cast/crew took the chance to marry laughter and savior.
I was hooked the minute my friend showed me the pilot [almost a full week before it aired - take that people who didn't know they were competing with me] and I knew that, despite it's airing-delay (filmed back in early/mid 2011) audiences would connect with the Sex and the City/Desperate Housewives-esque clicque. Here came a show which had strong, funny, intelligent [we'll forgive Sharon Peachum's lapses due to naivte and earnestness - at least, that's what we'll call it] and well-written women.
The fact that there's a gorgeous hunk'a gay man front and center? Why, that's a slice of heaven right there. Thank you, Darren Star, you do know your audience. [Blake, marry me - I'm up for some GCB'n!]
Granted, the show isn't for everyone - some of it's one-off jokes dance on the line between corny and cut-up - but, what is? [Tho' I dare you not to laugh at "Basketeria; that's Mexican for Basket Factory" when said by a cluelessly cute white guy - or "At least my husband knows how to keep both hands on the wheel during orgasm".]
Not all tv is for everyone. That's why we have different channels and different shows to watch on them.
"I don't really remember the exact verse, but the Bible is just full of that
kind of whoop-ass." -Cricket Caruth-Riley
GCB quickly grew a Twitter following - hashtags and tweeting accounts sprouted up with nomers like "Gigi's Hair" and its stars (Cheno, Leslie Bibb, Potts) corresponded with fans there and on facebook ... in short, the show had achieved Sensation Status.
Of course, what Sensational thing doesn't have its detractors? Time and again, small-minded bigots and Holier-Than-Thous [translation: stick-up-their-butts] tried to say the show maligned Christians and Conservatives. True, the show (and by extension the novel Good Christian Bitches by Kim Gatlin) called out the hypocrites who tote the Bible in one hand and vodka with prostitutes in the other.
Television has always done an interesting job of holding up the mirror to society - flaws and all; good and ill. That is part of its job ... that? And entertainment. And this gay heart was sure entertained by the gals of GCB.
With ABC announcing that the show would not be picked up for a 2nd season [assclaps] the collective gay gasp could be heard across the country. Luckily for us, some strong-willed and very enthusiastic folks won't take this lying down. [Or is that layin' down? Despite being from Virginia - pronounced Vah-gin-yah - my Southern to English vocabulary is decidedly lacking.]
Even if ABC doesn't help another network pick up the pieces - *cough* Lifetime, you REAAALLy should be looking into this *cough* - the act of letting our voices be heard will hopefully help balance this silencing of laughter.
Follow GCB on Twitter
Save GCB on Facebook
Save GCB on Youtube
Save GCB official site
"You are so judgemental. If memory serves, even Jesus hung out with
thieves and whores." -Amanda Vaughn
"Not in my neighborhood he didn't." -Carlene Cockburn
Tim Gunn Saying He Hasn't Had Sex In 29 Years
I don't even know what to say... my gay heart is weeping uncontrollable mulitple orgasms over this shocking news. A gay man going 29 years with no sex? I would have died after the first 6 months. He says that even though he's not had sexy time in 29 years, he is no barren wasteland! Hopefully this means he's not including masturbating as "sex" and Tim is getting plenty of hot action by himself with online porn!
Here's the story from HuffPo:
Tim Gunn has made no secret of his long-term celibacy. But the style guru's intimate revelation on the Jan. 24 episode of "The Revolution," ABC's new health and lifestyle program which he co-hosts, came as a surprise regardless.
"I haven’t had sex in 29 years," Gunn confessed during Tuesday’s show, which focused on how to improve your sex life. "Do I feel like less of a person because of it? No, not even remotely."
Nonetheless, the openly gay "Project Runway" mentor added, "It's not as though I'm some barren forest."
When pressed, however, a visibly emotional Gunn said his nearly three-decade-long dry spell had been brought on by a previous relationship. "He was impatient with my sexual performance...it was at the cusp of AIDS [and] I’m happy to be healthy and alive, frankly."
CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT FAIL
What makes a Gay Heart Weep tears of glitter-streaked mascara? Why walking into his local Walgreens (I mean drug store) and finding these *cough* lovely *cough* ornaments gracing the shelves.
The Jersey Shore serialized into cheap plastic 2 for $10 ornaments just screams Merry Christmas, doesn't it? C'mon, isn't this really what every household needs?
Dial "G" for Goombas.
The perfect Christmas ornament: Glitter Herpes.
NOTHING TO BE GLEEFUL ABOUT
by Benjamin Kissell
Nothing quite makes a Gay Heart Weep like getting smacked upside the head with unpleasant realizations. Like, and here’s an ugly one, you identify NOT with the extremely-relatable protagonists on what was once your favorite new show and no longer actually connect with the show itself but really connect with … the parents! This gay heart may have given vent to a healthy scream [okay, a scream, shout and several small temper tantrums may have happened, but, I dare you to find a witness] and a new [maybe my third] vow to walk away from the show.
I’m not gonna pretend I’m some tween or even early 20s gay heart – I am rather proud of my being 28, I mean 25, I mean … ahh Hell, 28 – but, it’s still kinda stress inducing [read: mild anxiety attacks soothed by random influxes of chocolate and Guinness] to watch a movie or tv show and identify with the parents (especially when the actors playing the teens are only a year or three younger than you).
A few years back (late June, 2005), my best friend [@ForeverNATE85 on Twitter, versus my @praetor1983] and I caught The Perfect Man [you know, that Hillary Duff/Heather Locklear/Chris Noth/Carson Kressley flick] and about 30 minutes in we realized that neither of us was identifying with the “stress” the teen character was in, but, the adult problems of her mother. That? Called for immediate medication/therapy [a quick jaunt to the store after the movie and spending too much money soothed my ego]. The killer part is we were only 19 and 21 when we saw it – compared to Duff at 18 and Locklear at 44 – and yet, we did not even bear mental resemblance to someone that close to our own ages.
Cut to me last month, coffee in-hand and chubby cat on my lap while I sat down to catch up on the first few episodes of GLEE [yes, I hate where the second season went and yes, I said I would try and give the third a chance – Marti Noxon from Buffy joined the crew, c’mon!]. I made it through the first two [mostly unscathed, but primarily unimpressed], but, Asian F? It made this gay heart threaten libel suits.
Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a bad episode – probably the best in a while. It was well-written, the actors actually had me [almost] caring what happened, but … when the most believable scene for me – the only one I saw any connection with – was when Mike Chang’s mother told her ‘I gave it up’ story I cried a little [some was the ‘aww that’s so sad’ cry but most was the ‘GAH; this bears repeating. The Mother. Again. GAH!’ cry].
That? Was the last straw. The shark has been jumped, circled back around and had a water-slide park built around it complete with flaming hoops. My hands? Washed.
Aside from this new season just lacking any other connection for me, my big complaint is that it began taking itself too seriously. When you stop taking an objective (or subjective) look at pop culture and begin aiming to be/influence it, you lose that initial outsider magic. The lightning in the bottle? Has officially been let out [at least for me and most of my friends]. GLEE isn’t a bad show, don’t get me wrong, but, the charm and aspect which drew us in? Gone. Blame it on bad writing, convoluted story-plots, “interesting” song/music choices, disjointed characters and story or whatever you want, my friends and I are done.
"Fuck you guys, we're going home."
We used to have our Tuesday Night Drinking Club [aka Glee Night] where a bunch of us would hang out, watch the new GLEE [on DVR to pass through the commercials, of course] and take shots – whether to various Brittany one-liners or to amazing songs. But, as the second season continued, our interest waned and with each passing episode it felt more like a chore and less like entertainment. By the end, we may have been taking shots to help us get through the episode instead of to celebrate it.
Since my ‘I’m done’ moment, I’ve been told mixed reactions to the recent episodes: Some positive, some ambivalent and more than a few were vocally negative. I? Just say ‘meh’ and neither watch them live nor catch them online anymore.
For example, the episode where Kurt and Blaine go “all the way”, which was supposed to really connect with its gay heart audience, came with a lot of flack from the few GLEE-watchers I still know. Various reports of a gay bar straight out of 1985 [gag], fully-clothed sex which was a so un-risque it used a cheap fireplace fadeout cut-away [as compared to season 1’s Like a Virgin sex number] and others left me luke-warm at best (mildly stabby at worst) and cemented my ‘No more GLEE’ stance.
What it boils down to is that I’m not their target audience anymore. When GLEE came out, it came out swinging in rainbow spangles and was a unique voice embracing its outsider-niche. It loved its cabaret-style bad outfits and Loser Like Me side. But, in its successive seasons, it’s become the network monster and, honestly, that’s just not what I connect with. I’m not a teenager whining about the spur-of-the-moment love you feel in Home Room and lose by Second Period Gym class. I’m a late-20s adult and a high school drama class is not where I intend to be.
Somehow, I just don’t see myself watching Degrassi: The Musical Generation, I mean GLEE, anymore.
[this joke courtesy of @ForeverNATE85]
