Stuff That Makes A Gay Heart Weep

Instant Eye Lifts

 

How about instant puff eye! Aparently the idea that eye lids can look better using some kind of tape has been around in Asia for a while now. So of course the info commerical kings of America had to get in on the action coming up with their own version and this weepy commercial that leaves you saying WTF? In some examples the women looked like they were at the begining stages of an allergy attack or they smoked too much ganga. Just say no to Dream Look, the last thing you want to do is make your eyes look fat! 

Making Your Iphone Look Like A Tron

  

Does it make you weep? Or do you want one?

 

Spongebob Snuggie

 
OH NOOOOO! THEY GOT OUR BOY! NOT SPONGEBOB! AAAAAAAAAGH!! My gay heart is weeping uncontrollably. I could not believe my burning eyes at Walgreens (hence the blurry pic). Surely Spongebob was forced to do this agaisnt his will. He would never sell out like this! ....er...oh wait...yeah, I guess he would. I already have a soft, fuzzy spongebob to throw around me and keep me cozy, and I'm happy to say it's a BLANKET, not a fuckin Snuggie. 

 

 

Gifts That Will Get Returned: The Slanket

 

AAAAAAAAAAGH my eyes! My weeping gay heart just went into a coma. It's bad enough that a Slanket even exists, but now they make them in scary prints like the one above that looks like carpeting from an arcade.

 

 

These weepy Slanket prints sell for the jaw dropping price of $32.99! The above Matrix-inspired disaster is called "Bits!" No doubt, if you stare at it too long your brain will fry and be blown into a million bits.

 

This circus tent would make even America's Top Model winner Ann Ward look fat.

 

It's called Nick's Lunch - possibly because he lost it all over this nasty Skanket. Burgers and hotdogs on a mustard yellow background? Beyond weeping.

And here we have a revolting Slanket for those that long to look like the umbrella on their patio.

 

Obama Chia

 
My gay heart isn't just weeping right now, it's screaming in horticulture horror. Then again, just about any Chia does that.

Big Top Cupcakes

On paper a giant cupcake sounds awesome. Then when you see this, the weeping reality sets it. A giant cupcake? How the hell am I going to eat all that? Also, I don't know if it's just me, but NONE of the big cupcake cakes in this video looked remotely appetizing. It looked like the world of processed cupcakes.